The day before was Sunday and mom had been in bed all day with a headache. She never stayed in bed all day; she got up everyday took a shower and put on her makeup even if she was just staying home all day. I was busy doing homework all day and really didn't pay much attention. I asked her that night if she wanted me to make her something to eat. Mom just asked for crackers. I usually slept with my mom and that night I woke and she wasn't there. I went looking and found her in the living room on the couch. I asked her what was wrong and she said her head just hurt and she couldn't sleep. I just went back to bed.
The next morning was a rushed morning as usual getting ready for my early drive to Denton. My mom was teaching summer school and got up to take a shower. I didn't pay much attention to her that morning as I was rushed as usual. She was standing in her room in her blue pajamas as a said in my rude morning voice, "Are you still sick? Why don't you just stay home?" My mom never missed work and was not going to today. I rushed out not even sure if I said goodbye.
I had called Brandy who is now my sister-in-law, she met me in Keller and drove me the rest of the way to the hospital. By now I was really worried. When we got there my mom's brother was there with my brother and my mom's friend. My mom's friend had driven her to the doctor where she collasped and was rushed to the nearest hospital. The doctors had already decided that she needed to be taken downtown to a more specialized hospital for strokes and head trauma. My mom was unconscious and when I saw her in that bed it was the worst feeling in the world. I will never forget the look on the nurse's face and she said, "I'm sorry." I became angry what was she sorry for, my mom was going to get better.
We went to the hospital downtown; tons of family and friends came. The nurses and doctors really couldn't tell us anything. It was such a long wait. They finally said that mom had a stroke caused by a brain bleed. It was late by then and they said the doctors would be back in tomorrow to see how the night went and where we would go from there. All we thought was okay she is going to have to have a brain surgery and she will be fixed. I just kept praying she would be okay; she was all we had in the world she had to get better. My brother and I slept on the hospital benches with some family and friends. Early that morning the phone in the waiting room rang. They said to call all the family to come back. My mom died early in the morning on June 22, 2004. I remember screaming; "No, you have to help her!!" It was like I was in an awful dream; I had the worst feeling inside that I can't explain.
The next week is all a blur to me. For a long time I was very angry and sad. Why did she have to die? That was the question I asked over and over. I know that God was ready for her to be with Him and I probably with never be able to understand the reason she had to go so soon.
I had just turned 21 and my brother was 18. We grew up really quick after that. My brother and I were pretty spoiled. I did not even know how to do my own laundry until my mom died and I had to learn. She was such a great person, with a kind heart. I can still remember how she smelled and what it felt like to hug her. When she first died I was so scared I would forget those things, but I think those memories will always be with me. I think about her everyday. Some days I still cry because I miss her; other days I laugh about a funny memory of her. I always think gosh I wish I would have asked her this or I would how she would feel about this. Like things a 21 year old would not think to ask her mom about.
4 years later June 21, 2008 I was back in the hospital for a happy reason. My baby boy was born. I think people are right when they say that "God works in mysterious ways," because he made a very sad life changing day into a very happy life changing day.
I am very blessed to have such a good family. I have two sweet aunts and cousins who love Kade and treat him so special like my mom would have. I have a great husband who goes on shopping trips with me (even though he hates shopping) like my mom would have. I have a good brother who listens to me ramble on about anything like my mom would have.
I wanted to share some fun pictures of my mom....
My brother's highschool graduation.
This is Christmas 2007; my favorite picture of mom.
My mom loved to have parties. She found an excuse to have a party for anything. This was one of the best parties I can remember that she had; it was a college graduation party for my cousin Tonya.
My 21st birthday.
This is mom with her friend Rita and my Aunt Sharon eating dinner before our annual Kenny Chesney concert.
Mom with Aunt Patsy.
Our dog Oliver loved her and was always where she was.
This is mom with my cousin Tonya having fun on one of our Girl's Trips.
Everyone piled in the bed before Bradley's graduation.
7 comments:
Oh Heather, that must have been such a horrible time for you. I'm so sorry that happened to your mom. I know it is something you will never understand.
It is beautiful that Kade came along to make a sad day happy again. God, and your mom, sent you a gift that day that can never be topped. I know how much you love and enjoy him, and your mom would have, too. He's lucky to have so many who care about him.
Hang in there, and have a good summer! Love you!
Oh how I feel for you and understand your pain. The anniversary dates are so hard. I am glad you have some wonderful memories of your mom and thankful that you have a great support system in your family. It is okay to cry and okay to talk about your mom. Keep her memory alive. I will say a prayer of comfort for you.
THanks for sharing your sweet story with your blog buddies! Your mom was an incredible and strong Mommy, teacher, friend, and person. Love you!!!
Heather, Thank you so much for sharing what that terrible day was like for you. I think sometimes people are afraid to talk about your mom because they don't want to upset you. We all think about her every day and talking about her and sharing the good times we had with her, as well as the times we wish we could share with her now will keep her alive in our minds and hearts. You are such a strong woman and I admire you so much. You talked about how you have people around you that do the things that your mom would have done. I want you to know that you are such a strong, beautiful, caring and loving person and such a wonderful mother - just like your mom was.
I know what you mean about June 21st. My birthday has been such a hard day for me to celebrate until Kade was born. It was like I had been given the day back. Even though Wanda is always in my thoughts. I know that God sent her Grandson to make us all happy.
I will never forget that day in 2004; it was the worst day of my life. You mom was a great sister and friend and I will always treasure our time together. It's hard to understand why God chose her, I can only say he chose the best. She will always be in my heart. I have always loved you and Bradley and now I have Tim and Kade to love as well. You know that anything that you need you can count on me to help.
Love,
Sharon
Thank you for sharing with us, Heather. I remember that summer & praying for you and your brother even though I didn't know you. I loved working with your mom (we ate lunch together my first year)& I can still picture her with that huge smile on her face - just like the Christmas picture you posted. I'll say a prayer for God's peace (that passes understanding) and comfort!
Thank you for sharing that Heather. I cried through the whole thing. Your mom was such an amazing woman, friend and teacher. I loved the time that I got to know her, especially during the 3Day. I still think of that picture of her wrapped in a foil blanket. She looked like a Chipotle burrito. I'll have to find that and show you again sometime!
Kade may not know your mom in person, but he will definitely know her through memories and pictures!
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