A Hard Burden to Carry
2 years ago
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Holidays
The holiday season always makes me miss my mom even more. This time of year I feel myself getting moody and extremely irritable. I feel bad because Tim is always the one who suffers from my moodiness. He is always so patient with me whether I am being mean to him or crying over every little thing. I am very lucky to have such a great husband. Holidays are supposed to be happy; but I just get so sad wishing that my mom was here to enjoy it with us. Now that we have Kade it is so hard knowing that he will never know my mom. She would have loved him! When I have questions or don't know what to do I just want to call my mom. She always knew the right thing to say in any situation I was ever in. She really was like my best friend, I told her everything. I think about her everyday. Tim and I talk about her sometimes and it's nice to remember the different times we had together. My mom loved the holidays and having parties with family and friends. It's Kade's first Christmas and I really want the holidays to be special for him like they were with me and my mom. I know my mom would not want me to be sad. She was always smiling and trying to make the best out of any situation. I know that on Christmas morning she will be there watching over my family and smiling.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh Heather! I cannot imagine the heartache you must feel being without your mom. Know that she is with you every day and she is watching over your family. I'm sure she is so proud of what a wonderful mother you are to Kade. And why wouldn't you be - you had a great teacher! Please remember that you have a lot of family and friends here for you. Any time you need to get away or talk or just cry on my shoulder, I will be here. I love you!
Angela
***Here is a hug!*** You are an amazing mommy to sweet Kade! You will make every holiday so special for him, and you can share the precious stories about your mom with him. After my friend's funeral this summer, my friend's mom told me to never stop talking about him, never stop looking at the pictures, so you can keep the memories alive. So, I will pass that along to you! Through you, Kade will know how special your mom was! LOVE YOU!!!!
Heather, I know exactly how you feel. It is okay to cry and it is okay to be moody and irritable. Tim understands. He may not fully understand your pain, but he understands that you hurt in ways you cannot fully express. Feel what you need to feel and let Tim and Kade love you like only they can. You are a wonderful person. Even though I didn't know your mom, I know she would be proud of you. If you need someone to listen (or cry with you!) I am here. Laura is right~ keep talking about her. Someone suggested to me that I write a journal all about all the thinkg I remember about my mom so my kids could "know" her one day.
Oh Heather! Hugs to you! Your mom would be so proud of all that you are and all that you've done with your life. Kade especially! You are a wonderful mother because of all that she taught you! Do you have any special ornament or Christmas item that was your mom's that you could start a new Christmas tradition for Kade with? That would be one way to always include her in your holidays.
And I'm sure Tim understands. He loves you and knows what you are going through.
Hugs again! I'll be praying for you during the holidays!
Aaaaaaah!! I read Jana's post and then yours. My husband is going to come home and think I've gone nuts! My mascara is literally smeared all over my face, Heather. You and Jana are fortunate to have each other to share those feelings with...I know it's a different kind of hurt that only a few can understand. Lean on the Lord and take advantage of the fact that He placed Jana in your life. What a support you two can be for each other. I will be praying for you both this season.
Post a Comment